For Better or For Worse (Wedding Vows) Page 4

  Leaving her all hot and wanting him. She needed to study, but that seemed impossible. All she could think of was…

  Damn it. He had been right about so many things. The house, the idea that they could get to know each other better living under the same roof, his realization that she was busy and needed plenty of time in her schedule. Heck, once they got married, he’d probably suggest she quit her low-paying job and concentrate on school.

  Oh, God, what had she just thought? Once they got married? Had she already decided to go through with it?

  She couldn’t. Marrying for money, even the idea of doing such a thing, made her feel dirty. She had to justify it some other way. She had to care about Jason, to love him.

  But if there was one thing she was certain of, it was this: they hadn’t known each other long enough to fall in love. Even living together, it would take way more time than they had to get to the point where they saw each other in their worst moments, and not simply their best. She had set herself an impossible task, but she couldn’t imagine doing it any other way.

  ✽✽✽

  Call to Dad. Check. Money in the bank. Check. Real estate agent handling all the details. Check. Someone else arranging for the movers to bring over Diane’s things. Check.

  It was all going smoothly. Within a couple of days, she would be in the house, and then he just had to make sure he was allowed inside, too. Well, since she had insisted her name would not be on the deed, that seemed like a no-brainer.

  But he’d better confirm that with her.

  Confirm everything.

  Then, he had another idea. He dialed her up. “Hey, Diane, how’s the studying going?”

  “Okay.”

  What was she doing with her voice? A monotone, a lack of enthusiasm. Was she still struggling to decide how to deal with him, and with the situation?

  He sucked in a large breath and plunged on. “How are you set for maternity clothes?”

  “I could use a few more outfits.”

  Damn, he could hear it in her voice. Every word was measured, delivered with utmost caution. He was going to have to be careful about everything, at least until she started to relax.

  “What did you have in mind?” she asked.

  “We could leave early and stop by the mall.”

  “Uh, yeah. That sounds good.”

  Great. She said she could leave any time, so he hurried out the door. This time, instead of driving his sports car, he picked her up in a limo.

  She was standing on the curb when they drove up, and her frown told him he had made a mistake, though he couldn’t imagine what. And he knew there were probably going to be a whole lot more mistakes before they finally had a mutual understanding. He just hoped he wouldn’t do something that would further sour her on the idea of getting married.

  Once she was in the back seat, she gave him a hard glare. “Why are we in this big car? I mean, I understood it in New York, where it’s hard to find parking. But going to the mall?”

  He shrugged. “This way, we have someone to carry the purchases.”

  “You’re going to make him carry everything?” She pointed to the driver’s spot with her thumb.

  “It’s what I pay him for.”

  She blinked. Twice. “I didn’t know that.” Then she glanced back toward the chauffer and a shiver shuddered her body. Her arms folded across her chest, hands clasping her upper arms.

  “Are you cold?” He did have the air conditioner on full.

  “It’s just, this is such a flagrant display of wealth.”

  “Makes you uncomfortable?”

  “I suppose I’ll get used to it.” She shook her head, as though to say her comment was probably not true.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I keep forgetting…”

  She nodded, her eyes aimed at her lap, hands curled there and thumbs rubbing each other nervously. Or abashedly. He wasn’t sure which.

  At the mall, they hurried to the nearest maternity wear store, and she picked out several outfits that suited her. She even modeled them for him when she tried them on. Maybe that meant she was getting more comfortable with everything.

  When they brought all her selections to the cashier, he told the chauffer where their next destination was, and left the man to take care of the purchase. Diane looked a little confused, but she figured it out within a few seconds.

  But he still couldn’t tell if he was making progress or digging himself a deeper hole.

  Then, they passed a jewelry store, and she took a furtive glance at it.

  Ah ha.

  “Can I hold your hand?” he asked.

  Her brow crinkled and her eyes danced in their sockets, as though she was desperately trying to find an escape route.

  “Please.”

  She still didn’t respond. He guided her toward the store fronts. Another jewelry shop was coming up.

  “I thought we could, if you want, look at rings.”

  He took another step, but then she wasn’t beside him anymore. He spun around and cocked his head. “Too much?”

  “Maybe too soon?” She gave him an apologetic smile. At least that’s what he hoped the expression meant. Damn, he was a lot worse at reading people than he realized.

  “We don’t have to buy.”

  “Just look?” She glanced around again, that search for a way out of the place, of the situation.

  “Honey, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

  Her lips tightened.

  “But I do, don’t I?”

  She gave him the tiniest nod.

  “Okay. How about we go get dinner?”

  “Good,” she said, her voice barely audible.

  “Okay then. I’ll have the driver meet us at the nearest exit.”

  Another feeble nod.

  Well, this was just great. He was failing, and in a big way. And he had no clue what to do to fix any of it.

  CHAPTER 6

  This evening, Jason took her to the Mansion on Turtle Creek, a luxury hotel she had only heard about, with a restaurant that looked like it came out of a royal palace. The service was five star, as far as she could tell. And the waiter kept bringing them new dishes, “compliments of the chef.” She couldn’t eat it all.

  And Jason wouldn’t hear anything of doggie bags.

  At least she could give the leftovers to the poor or something, couldn’t she?

  But she was too tired to fight him.

  “Did you get a call about moving?” he asked.

  She nodded. “Time’s all arranged.”

  He frowned and moved his jaw back and forth, like he was disconcerted or something. But wasn’t her answer what he wanted to hear? She couldn’t figure him out.

  Worse, she wanted to please him. Damn it, there it was again, that cloying desire to be with him, adore him, make love to him. Even as tired as she was, she wanted to get naked and jump into bed with him. She wanted to see, again, that beautiful body that was now covered in a sports jacket and light purple shirt, with sleek dark pants over those oh-so-delicious parts. She closed her eyes. How did she get these thoughts to stop popping into her mind?

  Okay, that was the problem. Try not to think of a white polar bear, and he will appear in your mind. She had to figure out something else to focus on. Because she was not going to marry him. Not.

  “Are you all right?”

  Stop being so considerate! If she couldn’t find some kind of fault with him, what excuse would she use for turning down the proposal?

  “Fine.” She managed a smile, though it didn’t feel real. “Food is delicious.”

  She put another fork full in her mouth, the savory flavor of the beef melting into her tongue. She should remind him that she had not agreed to this so-called marriage. She should tell him he was investing too much time and money in his efforts to please her. Nothing was going to work. She should warn him.

  But the words caught in her throat, and her mouth froze when she tried to speak them, like she had a mild case o
f lockjaw.

  “I found a good butler,” he said, sounding hopeful. “Highly recommended.”

  “That was fast.” Everything he did was fast. It made her dizzy.

  “He’s not from here. Won’t arrive for about a week.”

  That gave her a chuckle. So, he couldn’t get his money to move the whole state of Texas on a whim. She’d found a chink in the armor. “But I move in in two days.”

  “We’ve got someone to fill in.”

  “You seem to think of everything.”

  His eyes grew dark, and she suddenly couldn’t take her gaze off them. Hypnotic, they were. She had become his thrall.

  “I love you,” he whispered.

  She jerked back. Oh, no, this was too quick. It was one thing to move in two days, but fall head-over-heels? Not possible. “Maybe on a shallow level,” she said.

  “I’ll take it.” His grin was so compelling, it drew her back to him in spite of her resistance.

  “Look,” she said, “I need you to understand something about the arrangement.”

  “Yes?”

  “No sex.”

  He choked, but quickly recovered and then nodded. “Of course. We’re not even married.” That was followed by a stiff laugh.

  “Even after we’re married.”

  His mouth opened and his eyes got wide.

  “If we marry,” she amended.

  “I’m not going to push you,” he said, the words mumbled like he had marshmallows stuffed in his mouth, difficult to spit out, sticking to his lips and tongue and messing up his ability to pronounce even simple sounds.

  “Good,” she said. “Because this is just… for the baby.” Hell, what had she done? Had she agreed to marry him? What was he thinking or expecting now? How was she going to get herself out of this?

  “I guess my appointment with the doctor is for nothing then,” he said, his volume dropped close to a whisper.

  “What appointment?”

  “I was going to get myself checked for STDs. Just so I could show you a certified result that I don’t have anything, won’t give you anything.”

  She stared at him, feeling her eyes widen. She hadn’t asked him to do that, but he was obviously looking forward to the more pleasurable aspects of marriage. Now she had disappointed him.

  “I will give you things,” he amended, “just not diseases.”

  She patted her belly and gave him a crooked smile. “You’ve already done that.”

  “Dessert?” the waiter said.

  He’d come up so quietly she only now noticed him. Had he heard any of their conversation? Well, it didn’t matter. She would probably never see him again.

  “I’m satisfied,” she said, patting her tummy.

  Jason asked for the check, and the waiter produced it immediately. As soon as he was finished, Jason held out his hand to her. “Shall we go?” He stood, helping her rise from the chair.

  Not that she needed help. She was a grown woman, for heaven’s sake. She knew how to get up from the table.

  The floor slipped out from under her as darkness closed in from all sides.

  She opened her eyes to a golden tableau, darker designs forming leaf shapes and diamonds and… what was it?

  The ceiling.

  “Are you all right?” Jason said, leaning over her, his ready grin replaced by terror, eyes darting over her, hand wrapped possessively around her palm. The waiter crouched on her other side, brushing a wet towel over her forehead. A trickle ran down her cheek and into her ear.

  “I… I don’t know.” She took a couple of seconds to run a quick check of her physical state. “I feel okay. I think.”

  “Let me help you up,” he said, and in a moment, she was back in the soft chair. A bit light-headed, that was all. Woozy.

  Jason sat on the chair beside hers, watching her carefully.

  “Give me a few more minutes,” she said.

  Jason turned to the waiter. “Is there a room we can book for the night? I don’t want to leave her alone until I know she’s okay.”

  She closed her eyes, a slight resurgence of anger, but that made her dizzy. Maybe it was a good idea to stay here. Maybe she would be better after a restful night’s sleep.

  “I’ll get you some help,” the waiter said. And then he was gone.

  This was going to be a problem. And here Jason was, playing the gallant, to the rescue. Like she needed to be rescued.

  It just kept getting worse.

  “I’ll be okay,” she said. “It’s only stress.”

  “Should I call a doctor?”

  “Jason, all your hovering over me is making me more stressed.”

  He stood with a huff. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he paced for a moment. Then he turned back to her. “Will you agree to go to the emergency room?”

  “It’s nothing that serious. I’m sure.”

  “I’m not.”

  She lifted her hands. “Oh, look, we’re having our first argument. Or, no. What is it now, our fifteenth?”

  “It’s not just you I’m worried about.”

  Okay, he had a good point there.

  He grabbed his phone and dialed a number.

  “Who are you calling?”

  He waved his hand at her, a dismissive motion. Damn, she hated that.

  “You’d better tell me, or this whole thing is off.”

  His eyes jerked to the side with and expression of fear. “Yeah,” he said, voice unnaturally calm, “Doctor Anderson?”

  Okay, that made sense. She only hoped he wasn’t charging for a house call. Or maybe Jason wanted him to come see her tonight. That would be too much. She would just have to listen, then she could object if he got too crazy in his demands.

  Jason quickly explained what had happened, then spent more time listening. Diane could only hear a few syllables coming from the man on the other end of the line.

  She eased her way up to him, pulling on his arm so the phone would come far enough away from his ear that she could hear.

  “… more problems, be sure to call me.”

  “Okay, doc. Thanks.” He pressed the end call button.

  “Well? What did he say?”

  “This is probably normal and nothing to worry about. But I should keep an eye on you, just in case.”

  “You can take me home.”

  “We’re staying here tonight,” he said in a tone that left no room for argument.

  She thought about claiming this was kidnapping. And what would he do if she asked the restaurant staff to call her a cab? He probably knew physically forcing her was getting into dangerous territory. And the truth was, though she didn’t want to admit it, she kind of wanted to stay, to not be alone right after she’d fainted. It would be a comfort to have someone there, making sure she was okay.

  It would be better if they could do that at her apartment, but clearly Jason was not going to sleep on her lumpy couch.

  “All right,” she said, giving him her most exasperated tone.

  A moment later, an employee from the hotel approached with a room key, and a small amount of paperwork to sign. Jason set the paper on the table and started working on it. The man from the hotel turned to her and gave her a fawning smile. “We’ll have you off your feet in no time.”

  “One bed or two?” she asked.

  ✽✽✽

  Jason had his arm around her waist all the way up to the room. Bummer that he was so concerned about her condition he couldn’t allow himself to enjoy the closeness. This was the most physical contact he’d had since that day on the yacht. And he probably wasn’t getting any more for a long time.

  Frustrating.

  Stop thinking about yourself.

  He brought her into the room, where a single king-sized bed loomed with its white spread and fluffy pillows. “Can we get more pillows? He said to the stubby little bellman.

  The man rushed out of the room, elbows pumping.

  Jason reached his arm behind Diane’s knees, then lifted her and ge
ntly laid her on the bed. She sunk into the soft comforter, and it seemed to cradle her there.

  “You don’t have to do all this,” she said, but her smile indicated she enjoyed the attention. Then, she gave a worried glance to the other side of the bed.

  “I know,” he said. “I’ll build a barrier with pillows.”

  Her nod looked uncertain. “That’ll work.”

  “Now, you just relax. I’ve got someone coming with night clothes for you. In the meantime, I’m going to take care of other business.”

  Her smile was weak, but the color had returned to her cheeks. So, he locked himself into the bathroom, then leaned his brow against the full-length mirror. How was he going to manage this? He was going to end up with blue balls from hell. Women didn’t understand. It was painful.

  And just seeing her on that bed had sent hormones spurting into his blood stream. He needed to reposition his penis so it didn’t harden into an uncomfortable bend.

  He looked at his fingers. Hell, he was going to have to take matters into his own hands. Otherwise, he wasn’t going to survive.

  After he’d taken care of that little duty, he peeked his head into the main room. She was already changed into a flowered flannel nightgown that covered her shoulders and most of her chest, almost all the way up to her neck. Her legs were under the covers. No peeks tonight.

  He walked to the other side of the bed and lined up the extra pillows lengthwise down the middle of the mattress. Then he slipped between the soft sheets, laying on his side, his back toward her. Time to go to sleep.

  His eyes wouldn’t close.

  This was the worst hell he’d ever experienced. It wasn’t worth it. All the money in the world couldn’t make this torture acceptable. Time to just get up and leave. Hell with the money. Hell with his dad. And hell with Diane, who didn’t seem to understand that sex was just sex. She wasn’t making a commitment for forever, or even for a few weeks, and she wasn’t being paid to do the deed.

  Besides, she would be glad to see him go. No more danger he would remove the barrier in the middle of the night and have his way with her.

  Okay. So, he was going to get up.

  He had decided that.