For Better or For Worse (Wedding Vows) Read online

  It was going to happen right now.

  This very minute.

  Up.

  But his head wouldn’t come off the pillow. His legs wouldn’t move.

  And that was when he realized he wasn’t taking care of her for the money anymore. He cared about her and the baby. In spite of her unwillingness to indulge him.

  He might actually be in love with her.

  CHAPTER 7

  Diane felt great the next morning. All she had to do was not rise too quickly, and she would be all right. And Jason had been a complete gentleman during the night. No attempts at cajoling her into having sex, no sneaking peaks or faking being asleep and moving into contact range.

  Darn it.

  And by the time she woke up, he was out of the bed, taking a shower, humming a tune she couldn’t make out through the sound of the rushing water.

  Well, there was still the chance he would emerge from the bathroom with just a towel on, and she could rip it off his narrow hips and kneel in front of him and…

  She shook her head. Those kinds of thoughts were what had gotten her into this mess in the first place. Time to act like a reasonable adult and have some self-control.

  The shower sounds stopped, and she sat up, listening, trying to tell what was happening now, imagining the towel gently caressing various parts of his body. How gently or firmly did he dry himself on those parts? Did he pat them softly, or did he brush the towel under them, causing them to bounce? Or would that hurt?

  Maybe, if they ever got intimate, she would ask him. Or no, at that point she could just watch him dry himself off.

  Oh, man, she wasn’t going to make it living under the same roof if she couldn’t get her thoughts under control. She needed to find something else to think about, but all her school texts were at her apartment, and her phone was almost out of power, so even solitaire was not an option.

  The door popped open, and Jason stepped into the bedroom, wearing the same clothes he’d had on the night before, minus the sports coat. Damn it, he looked delicious.

  “Looks like you’re feeling better,” he said.

  She loved the bright tones in his voice, the cheerfulness that made everything around her seem joyous. How could she ever tell him to go away? How could she live without him?

  Oh, realistically she knew there would be things about him she didn’t like. It was inevitable. This stage of a relationship was influenced by all the oxytocin in her system, by the desire to bond, those rose-colored glasses her mother had warned her about. She had to remember that, before she did something stupid.

  “I slept well,” she said. “And you’re as chipper as always.”

  “It’s a beautiful day!” Then he gave her a bow. “The shower is all yours, my dear.”

  She got herself cleaned up as best she could, then they left the hotel and he dropped her off at her place. “Do I need to do anything to get ready for the movers?” she asked.

  “Just decide what things you want to go into storage.”

  That would be all of her dilapidated furniture. In fact, there was no point storing it at all, except for the possibility they might part ways. If that happened, this collection of mis-matched junk would be all she had left, and she didn’t need the financial strain of trying to replace it.

  “Happy studying,” he said as he left, giving her a kiss on the forehead, again.

  And it was all she could do not to pull his face downward, and insist he give her a proper kiss. Maybe go French on her. Add in a few caresses. Tongue feeling its way around her ear and sliding down her neck.

  She slammed the door, the bang reverberating through her tiny apartment. Where were her schoolbooks? Time to get her mind onto a more important subject.

  ✽✽✽

  Jason stood outside Diane’s door and blinked. She slammed it? Damn, he thought he had done well, but evidently, he’d angered her. That had been an innocent kiss. Just a peck on the brow. How was it that something so innocuous was crossing the line?

  She was serious about this no sex thing.

  He was going to have to pull back even more.

  He spent the rest of the day getting himself moved into the house, in the bedroom farthest from the master suite, around a corner, so she wouldn’t see him unless she sought him out.

  Just the opposite of his original plan to get to know each other better. But he couldn’t take any chances. He had to let her work through this as slowly as she wanted.

  The place echoed. It was lonely here. He’d never experienced that before, even in his cold-modern apartment, even when he was all by himself, he’d never missed someone’s company. The night couldn’t pass too quickly.

  The next day, he tried to stay out of her way as she and the movers brought her things over. Normally, he would have been right there, hovering over her, showing her all the things she’d missed about the house when they’d first seen it. He wanted to do that. But he sat in the study, reading about available properties in the area, so he could start some serious investing before the inevitable split. So he could finally support himself.

  No, he couldn’t give up that easily. He was going to make her want to stay with him. He just had to.

  In a few hours, the movers were finished, and she started calling. “Jason? Where are you?”

  A big house to find someone in.

  “Second floor,” he called out. “Library. Take the elevator.”

  “Elev… I don’t even know where that is!” She laughed and tromped up the stairs. In a moment, she was in the same room with him. She found a seat near enough that they could talk comfortably, but not on the same couch as him.

  “Movers put your textbooks on that shelf,” he said.

  “Thanks.” She gave him an impenetrable smile. Several minutes of silence passed.

  In a moment, the stillness became too much for him “What do we do now?”

  “Plan the wedding?”

  “Was that a question?”

  “Um, no. As long as you remember no sex, I think we can go through with it.”

  He nodded, tried to smile, but a large boulder was crushing his chest, and he could hardly breathe. “I’ll get a wedding planner.”

  “Wonderful.” She examined the carpet as though it contained a secret code that had to be deciphered. “I’ll contact my family.”

  “Perfect. Can’t wait to meet them.”

  Her nod looked nervous. Her lack of eye contact gave him an uncomfortable feeling. This wasn’t going well.

  She stood. “Okay, I guess that’s it. What are we doing for dinner?”

  “We’ll go out. The chef doesn’t start until tomorrow.”

  Her eyes met his, and the psychic contact was like lightning, going straight to his groin. “Chef?”

  He put his book on his lap, to hide the evidence. “We’ll still eat out sometimes. The man’s not going to work twenty-four seven.”

  “Right.” She walked to the door. “See you in about an hour, then.” With that, she was gone.

  He blew out a loud breath. That had been their worst conversation yet. Things seemed to be getting more and more awkward, more and more tense, more and more difficult with each day. He wasn’t certain how he was going to survive it.

  He grabbed his phone and made a call to his personal assistant. He needed a wedding planner, someone who could whip something together quickly. And he needed flowers delivered to Diane.

  Flowers. Oh, hell, weren’t they a metaphor for sex? Maybe he shouldn’t do that. Maybe chocolate.

  No, flowers. He didn’t want to be giving her unhealthy foods.

  No. Both. Right.

  A box of chocolate once a week. And flowers every day.

  He hung up the phone and put his head in his hands, as a little voice whispered to him, “No one will ever love you.”

  CHAPTER 8

  Diane put her arms around her waist and shivered. Had she just made the biggest mistake in her life? Jason was becoming more and more distant, and she was
n’t certain why. And she had agreed to marry the guy? Was she crazy?

  And now she had to call her family. What was she going to say to them? “Oh, Mom, we’re so madly in love with each other!” Not. Especially if they came for the wedding, they’d see through that in a couple of seconds. Mom would try to talk her out of it. Dad would probably punch Jason in the face, break his nose. There was no way this was going to turn out well.

  She walked to the sitting area in her bedroom and flung herself on the couch. Phone in hand, she let her body tremble, tried to work out all the nervousness before the call, tried to come up with what she was going to say.

  Her mom’s number was one of the “frequently called” people. She didn’t even have to look up the contact page. She punched the icon for a recent call, then swallowed hard. The phone was shaking against her ear. She hung up.

  Can’t do this. Just can’t.

  Damn it, she had to throw up. She ran to the bathroom and lifted the seat, then leaned over and discharged her breakfast with several loud heaves. Then it was over to the sink to rinse out the foul taste. Nice. There was a paper cup dispenser there. Made it a lot easier.

  The door flung open. “Are you okay?”

  She waved him away… at least, she wished the hand motion would make him leave. But he just stood there.

  She grabbed the hand towel and wiped off her mouth. Such an indignity, to be caught puking. “Morning sickness.”

  “In the afternoon?”

  “Maybe I overdid it with the moving.”

  He rushed into the bathroom and grabbed her arms. “Let me help you to sit down.”

  “I’m not an invalid.” She brushed his hands away and started back to the seating area.

  Then her phone rang, buzzing against the wood coffee table. Even from across the room, she recognized the photo on the screen. Her mom.

  “Hi, honey,” Mom said. “I saw I missed your call.”

  “Oh, right,” Diane said, sitting back on the couch, watching Jason from the corner of her vision as he tip-toed across the carpet and sat in a plush chair by the wall. “I just have news.”

  “I’m listening.”

  She stared at Jason. Damn, this was all too sudden. Mom would be suspicious.

  “I met this wonderful guy.”

  “Ooh, tell me all about him!”

  “Well, he’s… he’s… he’s just wonderful.”

  Jason rolled his eyes.

  “Uh huh?” Mom drew out the syllables, a not-so-subtle hint that she wanted more information.

  “Very handsome,” Diane said. What else? God, what else?

  “What does he do for a living?”

  She stopped herself from blurting out, “Playboy.” A chuckle trickled from her mouth. “Real estate.”

  “Oh, like he’s an agent?”

  “Developer.”

  “Mm. That sounds promising.”

  “Anyway,” she said, “we’ve been spending a lot of time together, and I think things are getting serious.”

  Mom laughed. “Dad will be excited to hear about this.”

  “Don’t let him get ahead of us,” Diane said. “We’re not engaged yet.”

  Jason sat forward, brows creased.

  “Well, you can expect a call from him when he gets in,” Mom said. “So be prepared for the third degree.”

  ✽✽✽

  After Diane set her phone back down, Jason leaned back in the chair, hoping she would explain herself. She was supposed to have invited them to the wedding, but she didn’t’ even tell them she was engaged. Was she thinking about backing out?

  “How did your call go with your dad?” she asked.

  Nice try. Change the subject to him, like it was all his fault. He hadn’t been trying to get her pregnant, and he couldn’t help it if the condom hadn’t worked perfectly. “I used protection,” he said.

  “What?”

  He stood. “I’m not the bad guy here.”

  “Jason, what’s gotten into you?”

  “You don’t need to accuse me.”

  “I didn’t.” She flung her hands out, then gave him a big huff. “I just asked you a question.”

  “Yeah. Some question.”

  “Look, if you’re going to be so sensitive, maybe you need to leave my room until you can calm down.”

  “I’m not being sensitive.”

  She got that hard look on her face, the one she’d given his dad when she’d told him she wasn’t interested in his money. And now, look at her, staying in this room, not even using the rest of the house, like it was her little apartment, like she was sequestering herself, trying to avoid him.

  She had rejected him. Flat out.

  She probably thought he was disgusting.

  He couldn’t take this. “I’m glad you asked for a marriage with no sex,” he said. “Because I don’t think I could even…”

  She looked horrified.

  And he was no better than a piece of mud under a shoe.

  “I think you need to leave,” she said.

  “Right.” He turned for the door, passing the bed, realizing that his claim he was pleased with the no sex agreement was a lie, that he was trying to fool himself, that he was just damned confused. He grabbed the door handle and yanked.

  “Wait,” she said.

  He couldn’t turn around. Couldn’t look at her. He didn’t know what was going on, why she threatened him so. What was she going to throw at him next?

  “Listen,” she said, voice calm. “We need to work something out here. Otherwise, when our guests arrive for the wedding, everyone is going to know we’re not in love.”

  Great. Now she’d admitted it, out loud, in the clear. She didn’t love him. How was he going to be able to live in this marriage when he was so damned smitten with her? How could they deal with this uneven emotional landscape? It was going to break his heart.

  “I think I can act pretty good,” he said. He wasn’t going to let on how he felt. That would leave him too vulnerable. She would be able to crush him.

  “But we should practice,” she said. “I don’t know about you, but I think it’ll be hard to just turn it on.”

  You turn me on, he wanted to say. But that would leave him open to cutting remarks. “So, when should we do this?”

  “We can start with when we’re in public.”

  Not right now? He closed his eyes, leaned his head against the narrow edge of the door. “Sounds good.”

  She didn’t add anything else, so after a moment of silence, he walked through the door and pulled it closed.

  His dad was right. He was the least lovable person on the planet.

  CHAPTER 9

  Well, that had been… she wasn’t certain how to characterize it. Odd? Weird, maybe. Unexpected, certainly. And confusing.

  Something had gotten Jason wound up like a cheap alarm clock, and she didn’t know why. Best to find out, get things back to normal before the wedding, or they were in real trouble.

  And Jason was clearly not going to make the first move. That left things up to her. Okay, she could do this. She had a bachelor’s degree in psychology and was working on her master’s in counseling. She had the knowledge to unruffle his stiffened feathers. Didn’t she?

  She got up and wandered back to the library, where she found him, hunched over his computer. He glanced up, expression frozen.

  Okay, at least he wasn’t telling her to leave. “Real estate research?”

  “There’s a lot to figure out,” he said. “This is a whole new area for me.”

  “Geographically.”

  “Right.” His back straightened. That was a good start.

  “The butler arrives tomorrow?”

  “Afternoon.”

  “And the wedding planner?”

  His shoulders squared off. “Should call you tomorrow.”

  “And have we decided on a day?”

  “I kind of thought you were calling it off.”

  Okay, that must have been the probl
em. “No. I just need to bring my family into this more gradually. You don’t want my dad thinking he has to take drastic action.” That old cowboy was always full of surprises, and she didn’t want one messing up her dream wedding.

  Okay, maybe it wasn’t that kind of wedding. But she could pretend, couldn’t she? Everything else was pretend, why not turn it into the nuptials made in heaven?

  He pulled up a calendar on his computer screen. “How about then?”

  She walked up beside him to see the date he had selected. “Can’t we push it back more?”

  “Not without getting my dad to agree.”

  “Give me his number. I’ll call him.”

  Jason grabbed his phone and texted her the contact information. He seemed pleased to have someone else deal with the old man. Loving father, my eye.

  She pointed to another date, a week farther out. She didn’t want the wedding to be so late that she was already starting to show. “I’ll give him that as our target.”

  “Works for me.”

  As she pulled her hand back, it brushed close to his face. Didn’t touch him, but a spark seemed to fly between them. She clutched her hands together and let out a self-conscious laugh. She wanted to grab him, and kiss him, and get him to put his arms around her.

  “It’ll be time to eat soon,” she said, glancing at her watch. “What do you say we, uh…”

  His brows raised. “What?”

  “Uh, we… we practice being in love.”

  Slowly, cautiously, it came back, that grin of his that she so adored. “With pleasure.”

  ✽✽✽

  Dinner went well. They held hands, she leaned into his body, they even exchanged a couple of kisses and several long looks, eye gazes like nothing he’d ever experienced before. Those made him nervous, but if it meant, maybe someday…

  No, he couldn’t think like that. If he did, every day she stayed with the no sex thing, he would be disappointed. He had to just take whatever came and be grateful for it. He couldn’t expect more.

  They climbed into the back of the limo, she not scooting over nearly enough to make room for him. By design, it seemed. He jammed himself into the narrow space, his trousered leg right next to her bare calf and half-exposed thigh. He should have worn shorts.