For Better or For Worse (Wedding Vows) Read online

  “But how can you tell?” Diane said. “What do you ask them when you interview them?”

  From that point on, she didn’t need to say anything. Carl kept talking until they pulled up to the passenger unloading zone and the chauffer jumped out to retrieve the man’s bags from the trunk.

  “Well, thank you for all that… advice,” Diane said. She had considered calling it wisdom, but that would have been too much of a lie to disguise.

  Carl exited the vehicle, and Jason prepared to slip into the back seat.

  “You need to study up on parenting books,” Carl said, leaning in to give Jason his final words.

  “Oh, I agree,” Jason said.

  “Good.”

  And then Carl was gone, and the long car eased out of the loading spot. “Where to?” the chauffer said.

  Jason leaned his head against the back of the seat. “Some place that will help me forget about this whole conversation.”

  “You want to look at properties?” Diane said.

  “Why don’t we get something for the baby’s room,” Jason said.

  Diane raised her brows. “Won’t that…”

  “We’ll get anything but blue or pink.”

  The chauffer quickly got directions to the nearest chain baby store, and they were soon in the parking lot of a popular strip mall, one of those places with the big national chains anchoring them, and they were headed into the baby store.

  “Why are you walking so slowly?” Diane said.

  “I’m not. Am I?” He gave her a self-conscious laugh, something that didn’t look natural on him.

  She bit her lip. “Probably not. I guess I’m just excited.”

  The glass doors ahead of her swished open and she marched through, into a kaleidoscope of color, with toys, clothes and books stacked, hung and displayed everywhere, only then noticing that Jason was standing in the door behind her, his mouth agape. He took another step inside, eyes roving over the colorful displays, the product shelves that reached almost to the ceiling.

  And then his gaze landed on the child-sized cars near the entry, one of them in the shape of a red fire engine. “Oh, wow, this would be so cool.”

  She cocked her head to the side. “The baby’s not going to be old enough for those for several years.”

  His shoulders slumped, but he didn’t move forward.

  “Come on,” she said. “The furniture is in the back of the store.”

  She led him around to the left, where all the clothing and feeding supplies were on display, hopefully something not as entrancing. When they reached the cribs and dressers, he had his hands in his pockets and wore a strained smile.

  “You okay?”

  “Stop asking me that.”

  A salesman approached like he was stalking them and gave Jason a wide grin. “Do you like dark wood or light?”

  “Whatever you want.”

  The only thing to do now was nod, despite her desire to know his preferences. She was not likely to get him to stop stonewalling without creating a scene. In fact, even that probably wouldn’t work.

  She turned her attention to the salesman, now going through the pros and cons of the various sets of furniture. It didn’t take her long to make a selection, and a glance toward Jason told her he didn’t object.

  Once she had completed the paperwork and arranged for the delivery, she walked to the displays of color and design coordinated bedding along the back wall. Here, the options were more numerous, as would be the purchases. “Jason,” she said, “can you go back to the front and get me a shopping cart?”

  “Sure.” He gave her a perfunctory smile, then headed toward the front, via the toy aisles.

  She spent the next several minutes comparing the offerings, finally finding what she liked, a spread featuring elephants and giraffes instead of monkeys, but as charming as what she had envisioned. Now, all she needed was the cart. But Jason hadn’t returned.

  She waited for several minutes, pacing across the layette aisle, reviewing the other options, just to make certain there wasn’t something she’d missed but liked better. After three passes along the aisle, her patience was gone. She marched back to the front, following the route Jason had taken.

  She found him in the toy section, the cart piled high with merchandise. When their eyes met, he grinned. “Look what I found.” He pointed to the largest box in the cart. Well, it wasn’t exactly in the cart, but resting on top, too big to fit inside, too big to see around if you were pushing, and hanging too far over the front to allow the cart to be pulled.

  “A toddler roller coaster?”

  “This will be great. And look at this.” He pointed inside the cart to a set of blocks.

  “These are for older children.”

  “Yeah,” he said, pointing to another box with a mobile on the wrapper, with dangling figures of a lion, a gazelle and a wildebeest, “but this is for babies. Exercises their vision.” His expression looked expectant, and when she didn’t respond, he added, “and it even goes with your jungle motif.”

  That made her chuckle inside.

  “And what do you think about this?” he said, picking up the baby gym box that he’d stuffed underneath the cart.

  She gave him an indulgent expression. “It’s like you never got any of that when you were a kid.”

  His smile looked like it was going to snap right off his face, like he had to prop it up with effort. A forced laugh escaped him. “Don’t be ridiculous. My dad could afford whatever toys I wanted.”

  “And he showered you with gifts,” she said.

  He bit his lip, and her heart squeezed like a fist had grabbed it. He’d never gotten any of these things, but he didn’t want to talk about it. Could she blame him? Who wanted to dig up all the pain of the past and go over it, even in a well-attended pity party?

  And the truth was she enjoyed seeing him excited like this, getting a thrill out of his impending fatherhood. Time to indulge him. “So, looks like we’re going to need a second cart.”

  His face brightened. “I’ll go get it.” And he was off.

  CHAPTER 16

  Jason held her hand all the way to the office building, up the elevator, and during their stay in the waiting room. He wouldn’t let go for anything. And he was nervous, fidgety, crossing his legs and bouncing his foot, then returning his shoe to the floor and tapping his toes to a complex rhythm.

  “Jason, everything is going to be fine,” she said.

  “I know.” His nod was jerky.

  “I guess becoming a father is kind of… what? Scary?”

  “Yeah,” he said with an anxious laugh. “I’m not sure why. But I’m nervous.”

  “Mrs. Talbot,” the doctor’s assistant said. She led them into another room, gave Diane a gown to don, then helped her onto the ultrasound table. A moment later, the technician arrived.

  “My name is Marcy,” the technician said. “What are we doing today?”

  “Gender reveal,” Diane said with a grin. Damn, this was so exciting.

  Marcy nodded. “Of course, you know we can’t guarantee we’ll find out. It depends on the baby’s position.”

  “She already explained that to me,” Jason said with an easy grin.

  “Okay, then. Let’s get started.

  The technician smeared the cold jelly on Diane’s belly. Diane sucked in an involuntary breath.

  “Sorry.” Marcy put the probe on Diane’s belly and began moving it around, staring at the nearby screen. “Okay, there we found it. Right there, see?”

  “Looks like a jumble of shadows,” Jason said.

  Marcy pointed. “There’s the head, and that’s the spine, and oh! There’s the heart.”

  “Aw,” Diane said. It seemed like magic, a new life growing inside her, real and alive.

  Jason just stared, looking transfixed.

  “Do you know what you want?” Marcy said, turning to Jason.

  “What I… what?” He gave her a confused stare.

  “A boy o
r a girl?”

  Funny. She’d never asked the question. But certainly he would want a boy. All men seemed to want a son over a daughter, especially the first time out.

  “A girl,” Jason said.

  “Aw,” Marcy said, getting all sugary with her tone, her shoulders bunched up. “That’s so sweet.”

  Diane stared at him, not certain what to think. Was this an attempt to show how pro-female he was, another stab at making himself someone she could love and would want to stay with? Or did his lack of siblings make him think he was missing out on something for not having a sister?

  “Okay,” Marcy said, leaning in. “We’re in the neighborhood.”

  Jason’s fingers tightened around Diane’s hand.

  “Just a little more…” Marcy seemed to be concentrating hard. The probe moved, twisted in her hand. Then, she raised her brows, grinning. “There it is. A boy.”

  Jason’s eyes got big as the boy parts appeared on the screen, bright and clear and unmistakable.

  “Wow,” Diane said, her grin involuntary. For the first time, the child inside her seemed like a real person, a separate being rather than an extension of her own body. He kicked a knee, and everything moved.

  “Oops. Got to get that back so we can print off a picture,” Marcy said.

  Diane glanced at Jason, and a frisson of fear punched her in the gut. Now, his face was a mask, with a vague smile there, but no joy in the eyes.

  She squeezed his hand. “I think you’re going to be a great dad.”

  ✽✽✽

  As he drove back home, Jason said nothing while Diane chattered almost ceaselessly.

  Nothing to say.

  “Are you all right?” she said.

  “Fine.”

  “Mm.” She looked doubtful, although he couldn’t spend a lot of time trying to read her face, since he was supposed to be watching the road. “You’re sure?”

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “I just… you seem moody.”

  “Just thinking. It’s a lot to take in.”

  “Right.” She fidgeted with her skirt for a moment, then asked, “Does it bother you for me to talk about it?”

  “No,” he lied. “Go right ahead.” Another fake smile. Damn, where was his cool, playboy grin? Where was his act?

  “Thanks,” she said, but didn’t have any more to say.

  In a moment, they had arrived at the house. As soon as they entered, the housekeeper, the social secretary and the gardener mobbed Diane. “What did they say? Do you have pictures?” Henry stood a few feet away, as if to commiserate with Jason.

  Diane spent a lot of time showing off the pictures, pointing out the male parts, listening to the coos and gushing of the women. Henry was more restrained. “I’m pleased the child appears to be healthy.”

  “Yes,” Jason said, recovering more of a genuine smile, though not a thoroughly happy one. “Me too.”

  But it wasn’t a girl.

  Why did that matter? He should be happy for any child, and he was certain he would grow to love the baby. Of course he would. This was his son. His own flesh and blood.

  After dinner, Diane retreated to the master suite, and Jason went back to the library. But the peace he found there didn’t last long. In a half hour, she was at the door. “What’s up?”

  “Just more studying.”

  She chuckled as she stepped into the room. “A person would think you’re the student and not me.”

  “This business is a never-ending research project.”

  She plopped onto a nearby chair.

  Okay, that was the signal. He wasn’t getting any more work done tonight. And from the look on her face, he knew she was going to bring up his reaction, again. He didn’t need that. Best to head it off at the pass.

  “How’s your property doing?” he asked. “Feel ready to buy a second?”

  “Maybe I’m being overly cautious.”

  “I looked at the numbers. The building’s paying its costs and then some.”

  “I need to be sure first.”

  He nodded. She was wary about a lot of things when it came to him, to this relationship. “Well, let me know.”

  Her face turned frowny, a thinking too hard kind of expression. “Doesn’t all the uncertainty bother you?”

  “You can’t predict the future.” Except for the gender of a yet-to-be-born infant. But he wasn’t going there.

  “Yeah, we could have a tornado and lose everything.”

  “That’s what insurance is for.”

  “Right.” She glanced around nervously. “I just don’t enjoy knowing all the things that could go wrong.”

  “That’s when you diversify… even if it’s just to have more than one property.”

  “So, if something bad happens to one…”

  “You’ve got another income stream to help tide you over.” Now, he could come out with the easy grin. This was his wheelhouse.

  “It doesn’t work the same in other areas of life.” Now she stared at the far end of the room.

  Danger. She was about to bring the subject around again. This was time to bring out the big guns. He leaned over, took her hand in his, then kissed it gently. Her shiver vibrated up his arm and he knew he was getting her mind off the gender reveal, and onto something much more pleasurable. “Your skin is so soft.” With that, he turned her hand over and kissed her palm.

  She pulled her hand away. “You seemed distant today.”

  Damn it. He didn’t want to talk about this. “I told you I was fine.”

  “That’s what you said.”

  Suddenly he was on his feet, not even remembering the decision to stand. “Look, I don’t like it when people don’t believe what I say. My dad never believes me, and now you’re questioning me!”

  “It’s just that you—”

  “You think you can’t trust me. You think you can’t take my word for anything.”

  “I didn’t… I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just that lots of people will say they’re fine when they’re not.”

  “And I’m not ‘lots of people.’”

  “Okay,” she said, coming to her feet and turning toward the door, like she was getting ready to leave. “I’m sorry. Maybe I just imagined it.”

  “Apology accepted,” he said.

  She took a few steps, then stopped again. “I won’t bring it up again.”

  “Thank you.”

  Then she was gone. He sat back at his computer. The data on a particularly interesting piece of property stared at him from the screen, but he couldn’t concentrate on it. Diane was right. There was a problem, something that was bothering him. Trouble was, he had no idea what.

  Well, come to think of it, he knew how to solve this problem. “So,” he said to himself, standing again and pacing in front of the window, “if you could make up a reason why the child’s gender bothers you, what would you make up?”

  He waited for the answer to come to him. Nothing.

  “Just a theory,” he said. “A guess.”

  Nothing.

  “A possibility.”

  He shook his head. Had his brain just left on vacation?

  “Okay,” he said, “how about this? Why can’t I come up with an idea?”

  “Because it’s too scary,” he said. And then there was that feeling, that bell ringing in his stomach, that confirmation that he had gotten it right, just the way Diane had described it.

  “Hell,” he whispered.

  CHAPTER 17

  It was one of the last purchases they needed to make to be ready for the baby’s arrival. The car seat.

  They’d gone to the same store where they’d purchased the layette, and this time, Diane led Jason through the toy section with a reminder that he’d already bought all the toys they needed. Reluctantly, he crossed the aisle to the display of strollers and car seats, all done up in blacks and grays.

  “There are so many to choose from,” she said, sounding overwhelmed.

 
He glanced over the shelves. He didn’t like the colors. Reminded him of his dad.

  “How do we choose the best one?” Diane said.

  “Just pick the most expensive one. That’s sure to have the most features and quality.”

  She cocked her head. “Tell me that’s not how you choose what items to buy.”

  “It’s not.” He grinned at her, then showed her crossed fingers.

  She scoffed. “Now you’re acting like a ten-year-old.” She took out a piece of paper and started writing features of each seat on it.

  He didn’t want to do this. It was boring. “You know, I could get an assistant to do all this research, so we don’t have to.”

  “Hm. Just like you get an assistant to do all your real estate research?”

  “No. That’s different. It’s important.”

  She jerked her head up to give him a dark frown. He pulled his mouth down on one side in an oops expression. “Sorry. That’s not what I meant.”

  “Of course not.”

  He winced. That had sounded sarcastic, and he deserved it. “I mean the research is more complicated.”

  Now she lifted her brows, then handed him the notebook and pen. “You must be a master at working out complex things. Why don’t you give it a try?”

  Hell.

  His fingers were about to start shaking as he took the notetaking implements from her. He glanced at what she’d already written. “Which of these features are must-haves?”

  “Um…” She looked back at the list. “Side head support, and a sunshade.”

  “Okay,” he said, going through the options and eliminating a large swath of them. “Now, do you have any other things that you’d prefer?”

  She shrugged. Hm. Looked like she was taken aback by his quick analysis and paring down of the offerings. She reached out to the notebook. “I think I can take it from here.”

  “Of course.”

  She gave him a sideways glare, then went to each of the remaining chairs, examining them with more care, her back to him.

  Damn. Had he just messed up again?